“I want to look in your eyes, Vlad, Georgie liked you. Didn’t he call you Pootie Poot?”

“Oh did I tell you what I have been doing lately? My government can track EVERY phone call ever, and we even tracked Dimitri’s activity a few years ago!”

“Oh like YOU never did it, Mr. KGB!”

“Hey Barack, you may have a state of the art domestic spying program, but do you have a Super Bowl ring?”

“I don’t know what made me think we can start this relationship again. We’re through!”