Thanks to my news-junkie sister, I have been alerted today to Fox News’ main page.. where I saw this photo of ‘guards’ at the Vatican as the conclave gathers. A few thoughts come to mind.. most initially, the guards have the garb that is unlike guards, and more like court jesters. Perhaps that’s fitting–since it’s the jesters leading in the clowns to choose the next grand marshal of the parade..?

But my sister and I had the same thought: We went through 12 years of Catholic school.. we had the religion classes, the Catechism ..  the lessons on the purity and piety of the Pope. But never were told that the Vatican guards would look as ridiculous as they do! Never were we told the true history of the sneaky secrets of Vatican City. I’d dare say most Catholic schools in our current day aren’t giving kids too many lessons about butlers being held in solitary confinement in underground Vatican jail cells.  My big ‘sis’ and I spend lots of time rummaging through news articles and facts as though the internet was a big yard sale.. but this is still the first time I have seen these men. I guess they were just always in the background.. perhaps when Pope John Paul II met his fate we only saw pictures of white smoke. I don’t recall seeing these outfits .. or they were just background music to the real story taking place??

Now that I’ve seen the Vatican ‘guards,’ I felt like I needed to be a good world citizen and educate myself a bit more about the awful outfits.  With help from the always shaky information you can find on Wikipedia. And Google images will help with all of the pictures I need to give me all I need to know and see of the Papal Swiss Guard. Another article I read about these guards tell me they played a central role in the Pope’s retirement. The article reports information I never knew:

The corps, which some historians consider the oldest standing army in the world, was founded in 1506 by Pope Giulio II. Tradition has it that he was so impressed by the bravery of Swiss mercenaries that he asked them to defend the Vatican. Ever since, for more than 500 years, Switzerland has been supplying soldiers to the Vatican. The Swiss Guards swear an oath to give up their lives to protect the pope — and in centuries past, they have. In 1527, 147 of them died protecting Pope Clement VII as he fled to safety when the troops of Emperor Charles V sacked Rome.

Such amazing outfits! Amazing.. I never realized how much I didn’t know about this world until I saw the striped clothing with cock-like tops. (And I’m talking about chickens.) So call me a dumb hick.. hillbilly..coal region no-body. 

But I’m quite proud I learned something new about the Pope and his chosen army..