I don’t think my life will ever be the same.. 3:30 am only a few hours back now, my wife woke me up in bed to tell me her water broke. I don’t think anyone can understand what the emotions are, unless they too have been through them. The sudden rush of water for her, the madness of not knowing how far along she was.. and the rush of emotions for me. Did we do enough to prepare? Will his outfits fit? What if he cries..? What if he won’t sleep? What do we do for a baby that won’t eat? All of these things now are gone to the wayside. The only true feeling that sets in is a mixture of panic and chaos. That, coupled with snowy roads at 3:30am on the way to the hospital, made for a bumpy ride.
The hospital, like any other, had great people and some not so great people.. Every nurse that we dealt with, however, was perfect in their own way. Everyone brought some new piece of information for us.. each person comforted nervous parents the best they could. And then Ayden Morris was born..
The amazing sight of a child coming from his mother.. is .. without question.. something that would make any verbose blogger speechless. It may not be pretty to the onlooking observer, but to the parents involved it is the most intense and raw thing ever witnessed. I may have been a more excitable dad than others.. maybe counted louder than others..maybe panicked a bit more than some. But for God’s sake, my child was entering the world.. head first, plunging into the madness that makes up this pale blue dot, spinning in infinity, circling around the sun somewhere in the deep and dark trenches of the Milky Way Galaxy..
These were the thoughts circulating through my head–the cobwebs in my head. Before a child arrives in your life, most things seem, for lack of a better term, just “there.” Yes, there are great emotions in life.. marriage for me was wonderful.. My childhood was exceptional. My high school and college years took place without much fanfare. But it was always ‘me.’ Now it’s us: Me, my wife, and my newborn Ayden. And life becomes more meaningful. I got about 10 hours of sleep in the past 40.. and that’s fine. I will try to get more, but I’m staring at my son as he rests..hoping he will always be safe and secure .. hoping I will be a good father, that Tara will be a good mother, and that one day he too will have the exact rush of emotions that I had during the cold night at 3am when my wife whispered that her water broke, and the unsaid words were: Everything is different.
And that’s my thoughts on our bringing a child into our modern age. With the worries of war and the concerns over global strife, birthing a son or daughter is a more challenging and noble concept. And just maybe Ayden will be a child who can, in the future, help to make the world a better place to bring other Aydens into. I hope.
