I’m half Irish. And I’m half Russian. I’ve often thought that the Russian side of me is why so often I’m paranoid, angry at the small things, and conspiratorial with the belief that people who don’t even know they are out to get me are actually out to get me..
It’s the Irish in me that tames me.. It makes me emotional, it connects me to the earth, and it leads me to the spiritual side of life.
The tension between both sides is often at play. . And no more than now, after the death of an uncle and the death of a family dog.
Now let me say, I have had very few occurrences of those ‘gotcha’ moments in life when a God is proven or when an ‘other’ world becomes apparent. As a matter of fact, the only time I can remember a human experience being other worldly was an impromptu memorial for a deceased niece named Grace.. the other memory is after a former dog named Newton passed away a few short years ago. I swear, on any one’s grave, that Newt walked passed my door only a few days after death. I, and a friend, saw him. Although the friend didn’t believe it, or ever talk about it again, even when prompted.
The other moment came tonight.. my dog Bailey was put to sleep last night after a severe final battle with cancer. Tonight, as Tara and I were getting baby clothes ready, we both heard the door open and feet walking by the baby’s room..
We both heard of, but Tara doesn’t want to talk about it.
Maybe it was a last visit from a dog before going to the other side.. wherever that other side is..
So do I believe in God? Do I believe in an after life? The Irish side of me weeps and cries and says yes. The Russian side doubts and worries and panics and says maybe.. At least I can so no side of me says no.
