It gets tough to sum up a year in just snippets. But as a people, that’s what we do. We assimilate moments as the ‘best and worst.’ We decry the speed of time but yet click away our phones for twelve months without enjoying life. This is who we are! And this, in 2017, is who we were..
THE BIGGEST STORY OF 2017
It was without a doubt the story that fed people a certain sense of tabloid, scandal.. revelation. This was the year of the great Celebrity Apocalypse! The great unveiling! All of the sex scandals from politicians to media figures.. and even Harry Knowles from AINT IT COOL NEWS. Nothing this year seemed to surprise. Whether it was Matt Lauer purchasing sex toys or having a button under his desk to lock women in his office, or a Kentucky legislator Dan Johnson shooting himself in the head after being stunned by information he was under scrutiny of media due to sexual molestation. This was the year where #MeToo hashtags led to women (And men) revealing secrets became the TIME persons of the year.. Where conspiracy theories about Hollywood’s culture of child molestation became factual. Corey Feldman suddenly redeemed by revelations of truth from Tinseltown. And George Bush Senior became known as David Cop-a-feel. His own nickname stuck after various women spoke of his rear grabbing habits.
Al Franken was brought town. Roy Moore was shown the door…
So any names. So many stories. So many victims.
The eyes of the world are now watching.
And though Bill Cosby’s trial did not end with successful prosecution, what mattered this year is the public eye’s verdicts. And by 2017’s end, as soon as a tidbit of information was dropped, our culture decried and asked for termination without redemption.
In an age where all scandals are true, the subject of activity is guilty until innocent..
ODDEST TRUMP MOMENTS OF THE YEAR
There were so many! Like this image from Halloween, where President Trump welcomed various children into the Oval Office. He noted that the Asian girl near him was present, and told he was going to China for a trip.. And then he began to tell the children not to be like their parents, their parents being members of the ‘fake media.’ He took his passive aggressive anger out on the adults in the room snapping photos by telling their kids that they should not be proud of the parental professions of their guardians..
Another bizarre moment occurred soon after Trump was sworn into office. In May, when CBS’ John Dickerson interviewed him and asked about controversial topics, Trump immediately stopped the interview and walked back to his desk Resolute. He sad down. And picked up what appeared to be a blank paper.. the silence was overwhelming and awkward.
Another fun time came during the Great American eclipse on August 21 (more on that later) .. thought warnings persisted for weeks prior, the President seemed to defy logic and safety as he looked directly at the sun without protective glasses for several seconds.
And while we can go on forever, we’ll sum up the final moment only with the video of what appears to be Donald Trump’s teeth dislodging as he told the world that Jerusalem was now the capital of Israel.
BEST MELANIA OF THE YEAR
The first lady had just as weird a set of months as her husband, the dear leader.
Whether it was denying that she had a stand-in body double or awkwardly standing watching Christmas dancers with a pale sad face, it was a whirlwind in 2017 for the First Lady.
GREATEST ECLIPSE OF THE YEAR
The GREAT American eclipse on August 21, 2017. It made history as it darkened the United States slowly that hot August day. Those who experience totality were amazed and dazzled.. like being placed in a distant world of high strangeness. Those who experienced only a certain percentage were just as impressed, as hot sidewalks became cool, and an odd aura of dimness prevailed across the land.
The next big moment comes in 2024. And after that it’s just about done for a while.
But this year?
This year was historic and amazing.
BELOW THE FOLD: THE BIGGEST STORY THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT
Heroin and meth use across small towns in America have destroyed main street, families, lives, and the future.
Businesses are closed. Whether it’s because of NAFTA or just economics in general, there are few places for people to work. Few places to play. Malls and stores are gone. Chain restaurants exist but nothing of family value.
And with this vapid and rapid existence of healthy lifestyle, another thing took its place: Drug use.
Not just recreational> Life altering, life ending.
Heroin and other opioids are silently whispered about. People who condemned the druggies only a few years ago are now burying their once healthy children because they couldn’t just ‘kick the habit.’
We are in a crisis of epidemic proportions. But we’d rather not mention it. It makes us feel uncomfortable as a society.
Instead we’ll keep burying the young. That’s easier than actually finding a solution, apparently.
BIGGEST LOCAL YOCAL STORY OF 2017
In the early 1980s, the Frackville PA Schuylkill Mall was filled to capacity.. cigar smoke rose in center court. Restaurants were full.. and the new shopping center killed coal region mainstreet.
In 2017, main street got its revenge in the form of newer technology. The internet may have killed the mall, but a decreasing population and changing economic scale in the county had a say, as well.
This year, the Schuylkill Mall gave the shut down order to tenants. The mall will be knocked down sometime in ’18 and replaced with a distribution center. *Yawn…*
By the end of the year, the federal Mining Office remains, along with the vibrant and lively movie theater. Word is they will go somewhere, money permitting.
Time is money.
And this year, the Schuylkill Mall ran out of time.
But I hope the DJ RAY page of the mall from 2003 and the kid who jumped into the fountain in 2008 will always maintain presence in the record book of Schuylkill history.
WORST UNIFORM CHOICE OF THE YEAR
The new McDonalds uniform mocked: Customers wondering if they got their idea from the FIRST ORDER from STAR WARS..
BEIBEREST FEVER OF THE YEAR
The moment when the world just wasn’t sure if Justin Bieber urinated in his own pants or not. He explained that water spilled on his ‘d### area.” And now you know.
BEST IMPRESSION OF THE YEAR
SNL has been praised for its newfound burst of anti-Trump humor. But Alec Baldwin playing the president has gotten a bit old.
What never gets old however is Melissa McCartney employing a high degree of comedy as she played Sean Spicer, Spicey, on SNL. Of course his stint with Trump lasted only months. We have only memories of the Saturday Night LIVE version that almost, in a sense, made America like Spicey.
BEST FACE OF THE YEAR
When the Stranger Things cast went on stage to accept the SAG Award for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series, actor David Harbour delivered an impassioned acceptance speech on behalf of the cast. His speech — and the faces that Winona Ryder made during it — was the most viral moment of the evening.
MOST AMAZING PERFORMANCE OF THE YEAR
Lady Gaga at the Superbowl was far better than the game. Far better than the ADS. And one of the greatest live performances that ever aired.
The biggest news blooper of 2017
This may be the best video of the entire year.. a serious interview on the BBC interrupted by a family and frantic mom herding the children off of live TV. We need to laugh more. This video helps.
FORGOTTEN BIGGEST STORIES OF THE YEAR
With all of the drama over sensational headlines and big stars being brought down, we seemingly forgot that Puerto Rico lost 90% of its power from a hurricane, that St Marteen was leveled from a storm, that Houston Texas faced epic flooding of proportions never before seen in the city, and that 600 people were shot at a concert in Las Vegas. All of the news that mattered in a 24/7 environment forgets the news that also matters.
It’s the fact of our new lives…